School.

School started for Lupita today.

It's been a bit of a new journey for us the last couple of months. She was very happy at her first school where she attended for 2 years. They loved her, and protected her, and treated her well. But she wasn't advancing. The teachers there are great, but I decided I wanted her to repeat her year before moving on, and we decided to try another school. This new school is very well known for their high academic level. One of her best friends attended last year, and he did wonderful. His mom (a good friend of mine) is very happy with the school, and how they teach. We talked about putting Lupita in. 

It is expensive, so I really wanted to be sure. But in talking with several people, and praying about it, I decided to sign her up. I am fiercely protective of her. I know in the future she will continue to be judged incompetent and stupid as an adult, as she is now judged as a child. And I want her to be as prepared as possible to get a good education, then a good job, etc. Confidence in herself and what she knows will play a big role in that. 

I happily signed her up. Then the dread set in. It's a rich kids school. Rich kids here often (not always, but often) tend to be prejudiced and judgemental and can be just plain mean. So for the next two months I went back an forth between being so happy, and terrified for what would happen. 

Last week I had several mini panic attacks, and couldn't figure out why. Yesterday, on the way to my joint birthday party get together with a friend, it came to a head. I had a good cry and full on panicking at what I was getting her into. She was SO excited to start school. She was convinced, because I convinced her, that if someone was mean, or if she was confused or scared, all she had to do was talk to the teacher. She knew all the right answers on paper to any problem that might arise. But you and I both know that the real world often translates differently. Especially when it comes to bullies. 

We met her teacher, and she was so excited to be there, she was literally jumping up and down. She couldn't wait to start in two days. And it was her excitement that did me in. I should have been happy, but I was too darn worried about her to be happy. While talking to my friend (and crying all over the place), the one thing I clearly remember her saying was, "I think you are forgetting to allow God to work in all of this." And I was. It was ME putting her in that school. It was ME setting her up for failure. It was ME exposing her to the bullies. I wasn't giving Him credit, or room to work.

I have been praying for months. For a good friends for her. For clarity while learning. For a firm and understanding teacher. For more confidence for her in general. And we prayed together the night before school, and on the way to school in the morning.

Today was the first day. She was given this backpack and lunch kit from a new friend of ours who also works at her new school. :)

A new teacher!

I dropped her off in her class, and left crying a tear or two. I texted my sister, telling her I had cried. She said, wasn't that was what Lupita was supposed to do?!? All of a sudden it hit me. She had walked into the school with confidence. She had greeted all the teachers and the director with a good morning and a hug. She wasn't shuffling around with hunched shoulders. She was looking around the classroom with interest. My prayers had been answered!!! When I hugged her goodbye, she just looked at me without a hint of fear. Amazing what God can do when you let Him.

This afternoon her teacher sent me these pictures she took at recess time. Look how she is playing with another little girl!!!! 

 When I picked her up, she told me all about what she had done that day. She was so happy, and the teacher told me she did wonderful. Lupita told me her favourite parts of the day was colouring a Tinkerbell page, and the worship time at devotions in the morning.

I am so proud of her. And I told her so. It is like she is a new kid! I know that hard days will come this year, but to see such a miraculous change in her at the beginning of the year gives me hope!

The girls left at home were sure missing her. Marcy climbed into my lap and did her stress sign. She was fighting with the other girls, and crying. She was really missing her "Ta".

Thank you to all who have prayed. I know I haven't done a good job of sharing this story, but please be praying. Also, I still need monthly sponsors. Her monthly fee and bus cost much more than the last school. I still need $70. a month sponsored. It feels like so much money, but I now truly believe it is the best place for her. And I don't have to pay for the other girls school at all, except for some school supplies at the beginning of the year. Please let me know if you'd like to help sponsor her schooling.

Thanks for reading. I'm so sorry I haven't done a better job at keeping up. I'll try to post about Christmas soon. We had a great time!!!

In which I teach my children responsibility.

The title in other words? Where I get free child labour. Or- Where I keep my children HAPPILY occupied and playing together for over an hour at a time!

Last week I decided to finally clean the inside of my car. It was so gross inside! Not with things, but with dirt! I didn't realize how dirty it was until it was clean. Eww.

Anyway, I got my girls in on it, and they had a blast helping out!

Marcy is an attention to detail girl like me. :)

Fun with a vacuum!

Now THIS was a fun task. The three of them were at these mats for over an hour!

Shirley got in on the game a little late. When I first invited her, she wasn't sure that cleaning the car was going to be fun. But when the water came out, she was there! All three of those girls couldn't get enough water time! 

Another picture, mama?!

Time to wash the dog. More water?! Those girls were all in!!

Poor little dog.

The hose was broken, which provided a lot of fun! Contrary to the first picture, I was the one that did most of the dog washing! Though they really liked dumping water on poor Leia. ;)

This one is a real ham!

Shirley is not a big fan of water, and was quite timid at first. But by the end she was running through the water and getting soaked like the other two! 

We got dried off, and time for some cuddle/tickles with Luz!

They aren't the best selfie participants. ;)

My girls are such a blast. In case you weren't sure!

Happy Canada Day! (A little late)

On June 30th, as I was getting into bed, I remembered that July 1 was Canada Day! Oops! So I wasn't able to plan anything for that day. We celebrated on the U.S. Independence Day instead. Some friends were supposed to come over, but chicken pox decided to make an appearance in our house, so they couldn't. :(

We had a great time! The girls and I put on our Canada shirts, and all the staff came for a BBQ.

I don't have a Canada shirt for Sara. :(

I wanted in on the picture too. :)

We all enjoyed the food, but I think Marcy summed up all our feelings perfectly. ;)

Happy late Canada Day from Guatemala!!!!

Prayer requests.

Hi all.

I have a few specific prayer requests I'd like to put out there.

First, for Sara. She has started to have more seizures, and we are having a difficult time getting the right amount of medication to stop them, but not turn her into a little zombie (which unfortunately happened for a couple of months). Please pray for complete healing for her.

For Marcy. She has had an infection on her bum that has caused many open sores. She has had these sores for over a month. They are painful, and though she has had them many times before, this time they will not go away. Please pray that they will completely heal.

For Lupita. She is struggling with something. She won't talk to me about what, but for the last 10 days she has been quite the difficult child. We haven't seen this type of behaviour in many months, and I was surprised it came back. Now it seems it won't pass quickly. Please pray that she will be able to confide in me, and that her little heart will heal. Or..... I will realize that this is just normal 6 year old behaviour! ;)

I appreciate your prayers so much. I pray for my girls, but the more that pray, the better!! Thank you!

A few facts.

It must seem as if I've forgotten this blog altogether...... That might be half true. It seems our Facebook page is so much easier to update, so I forget to come on here.

We have a promotional video we were blessed with. Please check it out here.

I came back from Canada early to be with Sara in the hospital.

 I was worried about her, but SO glad to be with her again!

 Very quickly she improved, and we both were bored!!! Hence the Princess Leia look. ;)

 Once we were all home, we went on an outing at Easter to see the traditional sawdust carpets. 

 My friend cuts my girls hair ever couple of months. For free! :)

 It has been SO hot for a long time now. We have been taking advantage of these nice days to go in the pool!

 Just hanging out. 

 Scheming something!!

 I love our church. Here, Luz is either pulling someone's hair, or bothering them somehow. And the person in front didn't even let it bug her. People are always wanting to help us get the girls, their chairs and all their stuff up the stairs.

These three beauties attend school together. They love it!

 Marcy asleep in my arms. Such a rarity. Little did I know, it was the precursor to her being hospitalized.

 New way to take your breathing treatments. We were at the (nasty) national hospital for a day and a night. It was truly Awful.   

At a private hospital. Thankful for better (not great, but better) medical care there. Plus, she had her own room, and therefore was able to sleep. The hospital also gave us a discount, for which I was so thankful!

Back in the pool! She is in there almost every day!

SO thankful for our amazing pediatrician. 

Leia looking so pretty! I sent this picture to my sister, and she thought Lupita had done it. But... nope! The girls were all in bed, and I thought she might like a little pampering as well. :)

So, now you are caught up on what we have been up to! Thanks for all your prayers and support! 

Quick update.

Wow, it has been a while since I've posted!

Christmas was busy and fantastic.

Rebekah, a nurse from BC, flew up in January to meet the girls, and learn about taking care of the house.

I flew to Canada at the end of January, and spent the last almost two months meeting with people, sharing with churches, friends, Bible studies, and small gatherings in homes.

I was to head back to Guatemala the middle of April, after a quick trip to Pennsylvania, but Sara got sick.

I am flying back to Guatemala tomorrow to be with Sara as she was admitted to the hospital.

Please be praying for health and healing in her little body.

I'll be trying to keep the Facebook page updated about her.

Thanks.

A few of my favourite things.

When Sara squishes into me for a big hug.

When Luz laughs and smiles as I give her big kisses on her cheeks.

When Marcy follows me around like a little shadow.

When Lupita reaches for my hand automatically whenever we go anywhere.

When Leydi smiles and starts to close her eyes as I say her name, in preparation for the barrage of kisses she knows is coming to her face.

When Shirley comes running up to me to give me the biggest hug.

When Sara starts to laugh so hard she can hardly breathe.

When Luz wants to cuddle, and sits on my lap in the swing.

When Marcy's face lights up when I get home, and she squirms and kicks and smiles and laughs with happiness as I pick her up.

When Lupita just wants to come lie beside me on the bed.

When Leydi is being pushed around in her wheelchair by Lupita, and she can't stop smiling.

When Shirley dances and wiggles her bum every time music comes on.

These are just a few of my favourite things.

Lupita.

When I pictured this Home, I pictured a bunch of girls with severe CP. That was about it. That is what I knew, and that is what I thought I would have.

I am so glad God had other plans. 

I was told Lupita had a syndrome, and that she could dress herself. That was about it. Her syndrome has the ability to cause severe developmental and mental delays. When I first met her, she grabbed me, and didn't want to let go. But she wouldn't respond to any of my questions.

She didn't speak to us for days. She would follow directions, but no speaking, and some of the faces she made, made me think she wasn't as smart as she turned out to be. It seems to be a theme with me, expecting so little of my girls initially. Thankfully, they have all proved me wrong!!! :)

Not a happy camper.

From the beginning she would wake crying multiple times in the night. Once, we were coming back from the City and she had been with us for just over two months. She had fallen asleep in the back, and though it was dark out, we had the inside light on. She woke from one of her nightmares, and the sight of her through my rear view mirror has me tear up just thinking about it. She woke screaming, grabbed the car seat next to her and started violently shaking. She was so scared from whatever she had dreamed, it took her a bit of me talking her down before she could wake up and become oriented. 

I don't remember exactly when they stopped, but praise God, they have. She still needs someone to sit in the room with her until she sleeps, but she doesn't have nightmares anymore. 

Randomly out of the blue, she will tell me stories of her past. I think it is only a small glimpse into what she has experienced, and it is not pretty. 

She used to get upset very easily, and could cry for an hour or more before falling asleep exhausted. She would cry for hours at school, and throw herself on the floor. They couldn't do anything to make her stop. It got to the point where I was afraid they would kick her out! She would never tell me why she cried so much, but thankfully that has stopped too. 

There were some definite learned behaviours that were ugly, but I guess when you are treated a certain way, and spoken to in a certain way, you think that is normal, and that is how others are to be treated. 

She used to live at home where she was neglected, then she was sent to another children's home where they did everything for her (including wiping her nose for her. At 5 years old!!!), to our house where there were rules, and kids with special needs, and a new school, new house, new town, new people who she didn't know, etc. Once we knew how smart she was there were expectations and boundaries placed on her. It was all so new, and I can't imagine what she was thinking. 

Decorating the Christmas Tree was fun.

Her behaviour started to improve, but then I started to notice she would do things, then ask me, "Are you happy that I did ...?" It was about making the people around her happy. When she was at school, sometimes she would tell her teacher that she wanted to stay with her. And when I would see her at school, she would say she wanted to go home with me. I started to realize that the attachment I thought we were forming was the same as with others. I tried to tell her she is permanently with me, and that I am like her second mother, but I think she still fears having to leave. I don't blame her. 

So I started taking her with me more, and speaking more words of affirmation and reassurance to her. I think it will be an overall long process, but it is one that I am fully committed to. I don't want her to go through life trying to make myself and others around her happy, just so she won't have to move on!

Lately I have seen something beautiful emerging in her heart. 

She is funny, and she is fun. She loves to laugh, and loves to make those around her laugh.

 

She has become very good friends with Shirley. She wants to bring her with us if we go somewhere, she always wants to help her with the stairs, or with her clothes, or getting up into her chair at the table, climbing up the play equipment, or whatever she needs. 

Swinging at the park.

Right before the two of them were going to have surgery, Lupita was helping to calm a crying Sara.

If I am doing something, she wants to help me (bringing in groceries, cleaning things up, baking, etc). 

She likes to hold her baby the same way I hold my babies. :)

She also likes to hold the real babies too. 

Leydi was a bit heavy for her, but she managed for a few minutes. :)

She likes to help Luz (who is blind and deaf) get where she needs to be.

For an hour each day the nannies go on break, and I hang out with the six girls. (I love it!) Sometimes we play in the playroom, sometimes we watch tv (when I'm tired and want a cop out!), but lately we've all gone outside. I would walk Leydi and Sara around in their wheelchairs, and read stories to everyone. 

Lupita now asks to take the girls for a spin. Leydi, especially, loves it!!! She gets the biggest smile on her face while she's being wheeled around, and when Lupita parks her against the wall (which Lupita does expertly, backing them into their spots), she starts to cry! So Lupita happily takes her out again. 

Sometimes the girls heads fall forward from their headrest on their wheelchairs, so I go place their head back in place. Lupita has now started to notice, and do it herself!!! I was so proud the first time I saw it. She often notices before I do, and this is something that I had to remind the staff of several times! 

Going for a stroll. 

When I put it all together, I wanted to express to her how much all her actions meant to me. At five years old, and having only spent less than 8 months with us, I believe some of it she has learned from us, but mostly this is who she is. A helper. A lover. A giver. A friend.

I pulled her onto my lap, and started telling her what a beautiful heart she had. And (of course) I started to cry. She couldn't see me, but she said, "I hear you are crying." So I explained that some tears are good, and I was so happy and proud of who she is, and how she treats others around her and has compassion. She immediately jumped up and went to play, but I notice she pretends to ignore when I compliment her. At night when I tell her she is beautiful, and that I love her, she usually deflects it and does something to try to distract me. 

I wasn't happy initially when she came to me. I had a vision of what type of children I wanted to have and she didn't match that. And when the behaviours started coming out, I knew I was out of my league. I'm a first time mom, with little experience. You can imagine I stressed!

But God.....

He knew I needed her. He knew I needed her to make me laugh. He knew I needed to see her heart healing. He knew I needed a little girl to play with. He knew I needed to learn what unconditional love was. 

I hate to make it all about me, and I know it isn't. I know she is gaining from this relationship as well. I just see so clearly what she has given to me. And I hope I don't mess it up for her. 

So please pray for us. Pray for her heart to emotionally heal from her past. Pray that the real little girl that she is can come fully out, and feel secure and real with us. Pray that she will be a confident girl, who knows she is loved no matter what. 

Pray that I can guide her through her fears and insecurities. Pray that I will form a close and trustworthy bond with her. Pray that I can show her the one true Father who loves us all, and made us all perfect, and with purpose. 

My little love.